Essay, Research Paper
Contending Has Its Positive and Negative Views
On A Relationship
In response to George Bach & # 8217 ; s claim, I confute that contending under any circumstance is indefensible and unhealthy. In order to hold a healthy sexual relationship, there must be struggle and there must be love. Love and war go together manus in manus. A healthy sexual relationship consists of many factors, such as communicating, love, and sex. And with these factors, contending would frequently transpirate due to differences that people tend to see otherwise. Contending can be healthy and good in a sexual relationship, but an surfeit can be damaging to its endurance.
Harmonizing to George Bach & # 8217 ; s regulations on healthy combat, some regulations to see when contending are to go forth out physical and emotional maltreatment. Although both are unacceptable behaviours, emotional maltreatment is the greater of the two immoralities. Physical maltreatment causes bodily hurts which may include broken castanetss and cicatrixs, nevertheless, they finally will decide with clip. Emotional maltreatment, on the other manus, leaves no physical cicatrixs, but the mental torment can last a life-time taking to a barbarous rhythm with future relationships. It was besides stated and recommended to non convey up issues in the yesteryear which have no relevancy to the current statement. This type of contending merely makes more jobs for the parties involved.
Prior to my present relationship, my ex-girlfriend would invariably convey up things I did in the yesteryear to an statement that we were holding in the present. For illustration, I one time brought up the thought that my ex-girlfriend spell shopping with my best friend because I truly like the manner she dressed. Overtime, my ex-girlfriend began to develop ideas and insecurities toward my best friend because she believed I put my best friend on a base. This led to constant controversy and battles between us because in her head, I was rip offing on her and she had no trust in me. Finally, my ex-girlfriend and I talked about our job and she realized that she was moving irrational with the whole state of affairs. Our relationship, with clip, began to acquire back on path. One twenty-four hours, while we were reasoning about me passing excessively much clip my male friends, she would convey up my best friend and say that I was non truly spending clip with my male friends, but rip offing on her with my best friend. This came up on legion statements, which finally drove me off from our relationship. This type of contending and reasoning can merely convey a relationship to its death.
Communication is what builds a foundation to a relationship. Without communicating, there is no relationship. While some people have the exceeding ability to pass on with their spouse, others are inept at this art. On a personal note, I consider myself to be a individual who has the ability to pass on efficaciously due to my apprehension that communicating is cardinal to a successful relationship. In respects to the relationship I have with my girlfriend, I consider us both to be strong communicators. If we were to be involved in an statement, we would do certain that we get all issues out in the unfastened and non allow it be & # 8220 ; bottled up & # 8221 ; which can take to a more terrible statement I
n the hereafter. By “bottling up” defeat, an person is non uncovering how he/she feels, maintaining feelings to themselves while constructing up on defeats and emotions. Then at any given clip, a bantam flicker will light and all emotions come winging out of this bottle, holding all snake pit interrupting loose. Therefore, due to the great communicating that I portion with my girlfriend, feelings are said so and at that place, which in bend, helps us understand and acquire to cognize each other. Through this, we learn what irritates each other, what makes us huffy, and what truly makes us desire to kill each other.
Many people believe that with combat, a twosome can be brought closer together emotionally through declaration. Coming to a via media after an statement can bespeak how much you care for each other. It means you want to do your relationship work. The result of an statement or a battle can be viewed as holding a negative or positive consequence. In the respects to a negative consequence, a relationship can be brought to an terminal. Wordss could hold been exchanged and forgiveness would non hold been an option. In respects to a positive facet, the twosome would detect that their statement was junior-grade which would take to make-up. Making up is normally really sweet and romantic. Couples frequently tend to act as if they were in the & # 8220 ; honeymoon & # 8221 ; phase of their relationship.
Pulling from my ain personal experience, my girlfriend and I fight about one time every two hebdomads. Every clip we get into an statement, we learn something new from each other, our likes and disfavors. From what we learn through our statements, we learn to avoid similar and indefensible state of affairss, which may happen in the hereafter. For illustration, my girlfriend and I got into an statement because she believed that we were non passing adequate clip together because I was passing a batch of clip with my friends. I believed that our relationship was all right the manner it was, but I knew she was unhappy. We fought over this state of affairs, but came up with the via media that we would put aside certain yearss for merely herself and I. This via media truly worked out for us and we have non argued over anything that had to make with disbursement clip with each other since so. Therefore, this statement was good for us because it brought us to a declaration about feelings my girlfriend was sing. Without this statement, to this twenty-four hours, my girlfriend would still be angry with me for passing excessively much clip with my friends and non with her.
In decision, we tend to look upon contending as a negative facet of a relationship because normally, there is reasoning, contending, and people frequently tend to acquire hurt. But, there is an upside to contending and that is to & # 8220 ; make-up & # 8221 ; . Finally contending comes to an terminal and can either be viewed as positive or negative. By holding a positive consequence, twosomes can larn from each other through via media and declaration. On the other manus, unfair and unhealthy combat can destroy a relationship, go forthing resentment and bitterness towards the parties involved. In confidant and sexual relationships, contending helps us understand and acquire to cognize each other a small spot better. We learn from each other, which so helps us to forestall similar state of affairss to happen in the hereafter.